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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Annoying entry

 Note : This entry might be annoying, just don't read or blame me after you have read if it does make you feel ain't good!

Midterms finally done but there are still 4 assignments waiting for us to be done.
Trying to rushing for it so we could have comfortable day without worries/stress.
For the sake of ENT & HRM midterm and HRM assignment, I had skipped 5 LECTURE class! is 5!
I don't feel good not because of worrying I didn't sign the attendance which may resulting bar for final but is the knowledge that I miss out, freaked me out as I'm not an intelligent students where I still need guidance and knowledge from lecturers.

I don't feel good today nor moody but there are something.
There are something that make me quite upset.
I've been blame by someone over something that is absolutely not my fault. I don't know how to exaggerate as to recall back, I think is ridiculous. Why on earth people will blame someone that has done nothing wrong?
For the sake of not calling somebody to wake up, I've been asked harshly and forced to see the "black" face. Hello, excuse me? I'm not your nanny! Nor you alarm clock!
Ok, to put in a simple way...
Did you ask me to wake you up at first? Think and recognize whether is my fault or not before talking so LOUDLY and MEAN to me!
I am human, I have feeling! Just because of something that not pleased you, I have to be treated like this? Please consider on other's feeling too!
Previously excited emotion just shrunk to the min lvl because of this.

As I said there are something previously, so this is the second part of what I felt / gone through.
 I'm trying to help up / to ease burden on you but I can feel that you are just avoiding me.
I mean to get things done but I could feel that you think I'm looking down on you by even my mere intention was actually to help you.(maybe is my only assumption, I "perasan" or whatsoever, but this is really how I felt)
You can't blame me for thinking something like this, but your actions could somehow rather makes me feel so.
Am I really too mean towards you? Or too demanding until you feel stress when dealing with me?
Friends, we've been friend since we get to know each other and get along real well but somehow, now it becoming so far. Far that I could see the possibility that you never wanted me to be your friend anymore.
I don't know. Mayb I'm too sensitive or what, but I really can't help myself thinking on that.
I don't wish to lost the friendship but it feels hurt to recall back everything that has happened yet you could just keep quiet. Maybe you scold/shout/yell/scream at me, I will feel better?
Or even to let me know I'm wrong if I do so?
As sometimes, I don't know what I had done that might actually offended you or could like now, SILENT~

Friends, I take this chance to APOLOGIZE if I bring hurt and grieve to you all! This is at least, something I can do or could make me feel better, perhaps~

Argh, Ashlee, tell me what should I do? Wish someone will at least in this moment, beside me hears my rants and even comfort me or wipe away my tears.
I just couldn't help myself and tears dropped! I'm such a useless that can't even control my fucking emotion.
Fucking bitch, yea! I remembered that, somebody said I'm fucking bitch!

P / s : I'm fine. I felt better after this.

1 comment:

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