Life is NOT fair

This few days addict to sing! Therefore, youtubing a lot for better musics, better covers that done by so many talented human across the globe! In fact, I can't imagine if this world without music, without rhytm, how would it be? Dull, silent and dead! A dead world!

To my surprise, I come out with a conclusion that is, 'life is fair!' To the extent, life is fcukingly awesome fair! Below Youtube says it all! Imagine, she did a crap, but she can garnered fcuking 23 million views and become feature video in Youtube. 

That is double of viewers compared below Jayesslee's cover, which only garnered 12 million viewers! This pair of twin did great covers, and I'm madly in love with their music! So jelly of them, great voice, pretty face and life is not fair lah.  Why god make them so perfect huh? Must be past life did a lot of good things! WTF~

Thus, don't ever say life is NOT fair!

Bwahahahahahahaah!

Peeps, Happy Wednesday!!!

One-of-the-crap OTY

It is December now! How's your almost-one-year of 2011?

Recalling back this January up till now, I've been through many ups and downs, but life is getting more challenging as I step into another phase of life. I don't know or predict when is the time for again another phase of life, but thanks God cause I'm still breathing and living in this world.

Well, of cause certain things might change so we just have to go with the flow of how it wants to lead us to.
I believe when you gain, you will lose on the other hand. Morever, the more you gain, don't expect you will forever same because you can read the proverb itself, "No pain, no gain" 
But, I am more greedy than anyone else out there, "Can I just gain, but without pain. or maybe lesser pain?"
FML!

Blogging have not been consistenly in my mind as I hardly can put in words of my thoughts, I feel that myself is weak in expressing myself. I rather choose to be silent even though there's been harmless miscommunication, or in one term we named it, "lazy" Yea, I'm forever a lazy bitch but tell me, is any out there is "hardworking"?

I went for a movie yesterday midnight with my colleagues, I felt touched by the story plot. I just hate why ppl tend to keep silent in their heart rather than voice it out their preference towards each other? Will it be just so sorry that the two souls are deeply in love but just can't be together? Why? Why? Why? I know it  is sweet if the two forever stay in that stage of ambiguity, just the world for both of two, BUT, I just feel so amiss or sorry! It is such a waste! This world is never a happy-ending world, but why since small, we are fed by all those happy ending fairy tale stories? Ain't it just so cruel to shattered a small kid dream?
I always said this this and that that, but when it really hit my butt, I failed to do what I've just said this this and that that. FML! I know I'm such a failure!

Crap is done! Welcome to my real crappy world, as if I'm healed, I will come up with more proper blog post!

可不可以

可不可以，在我说我爱你的时候，
你不需要回答，就给我一个拥抱。


可不可以，在我还没离去的时候，
你拉着我的手，就给我一个深吻。


可不可以，在我伤心难过的时候，
你抚摸我的脸，说你看了会伤心。


可不可以，在我开心大笑的时候，
你捏着我的脸，说我是最可爱的。


可不可以，在我最需要你的时候，
你在门外敲门，第一刻跑来见我。


可不可以，在我很想念你的时候，
你马上打电话，告诉我你也一样。


可不可以，在我非常生气的时候，
你马上装无辜，说你下次不敢了。


可不可以，在我想放弃你的时候，
你在后边说着，请你不要离开我。


如果这些都可以，那我会、
深深地爱上你，
我会永远属于你。

Call me the Ms. Emo

I wish to update, but yet I don't have mood and time to do so.
Final is next Saturday, but I didn't even have the spirit to start revision.
Pathethic betul!
Feeling emo recently for don't know why, and I hate this kind of feeling.
Could be due to exam stress or my own personal matters.
Anything, I just hope everything could go right, and I don't think so much that make me become more and more emo. Hmmm, and hope I really could do that.
There is something that you wouldn't know, and I hope you are the one who will be the one who understand my feeling

Tears drop again after so long...
I wish to cry out loud for no reason.
I know I'm not happy, but what else can I do just to regain back the smile that is hidden for so long?
Mr. Confident, please stay with me, like forever...
Miss. Smile, please stick with me all the time...
Mr. Optimistic, I know I need you so badly...

Seriously untitled for the randomness of it, and basically just the voice from the heart

Exactly 2 months passed...
Its been the lowest point when myself needs to keep on reminding myself, or to be worst self-slapping to wake up myself to get real, to face the reality.
Thanks to those who keep accompanying me throughout my weakest moment, never ending concerning about me to let me know that, everyone is just so care about me, I sincerely know and appreciated that!
All this while, I just let my emotion to carry me away, far far away to where I don't know where it landed and just died at a certain point, for not willing to move or to get rid or wake up.
I don't have the passion in doing anything, I lost confident in most of the things, and I felt that I'm just a loser.
I hate to be alone now, for I will keep on put on my thinking cap and think of many many things.
I hate when the night come I just couldn't get myself to sleep. It's been 2 months I can't really sleep, and it's been 2 months I tears to sleep most of the time.
It's been tormenting me but I believe I'm strong enough and tough as usual no matter what happen.
I really hope I am, and basically, is just law of attraction, when you believe that is possible, then it will be possible. Just as simple as that! Right?!
I just don't understand why and for most of the time, isn't human being always never ending finding an answer to everything?
Sometimes, I just prefer to be silent and not to alarm ppl surrounding me that I'm not fine.
I tried to talk to someone which I regarded the one most closest to me in my uni but the responded from her make me realize that I'm so sickening.(Yet, I never ever deny you in my life from the response you gave me but choose another alternative to go)
From that replied and that moment onwards, I told myself that I will never ever bother you anymore, which is something you don't even wanted to know.
This thing let me realize that friendship is just so fragile, and it comes and goes easily, who will ever be truth to you sometime is just so questionable.
I never ever differentiate any of my friends into categories cause I believe that I treated everyone equally cause every of my friends is just so equally important to me.
I never wanted to offense anyone but somehow rather I know that sometimes I just can't please everyone.
I know that, but I never ever wanted any repay, but just one simple thing, that is be true to me.
Let me have faith in friendship by acknowledging me as a friend of yours.
Life's not about the people to act true to your face. It's about the people who remain true behind your back.
Throughout all this things, mind grows mature is something that is undeniable. People always said that, when you at a certain age, you will grow and be considerate towards matters or peoples or to be worst, you will start to have a lot of worries that will never end, till the day of your last breath.
Whatever it is, I just hope that every pain that I went through will somehow rather let me gain something in return. It doesn't need to be visible or to be seen in second but at least, pls let me know that whatever I had done is worthwhile.
I do always reminding myself, no pain no gain!
So, I won't take things for granted, be it friendship or matters.
Ah, is another insomnia night as usual... but when this will come to an end?
God, I believe that you will certainly lead my way..

Stay tuned!

I don't have the mojo of blogging recently.
Partly of the new 'nest' I've got for myself and partly there is nothing much happy things to be shared here.
Yet, I won't give up of my blog here.
So, stay tuned! I will be back soon!

It was raining for more than an hour, and I was sitting in front of my laptop for more than 5 hours doing nothing. Literally, nothing practical I suppose.

I don't feel good but I can't find someone to talk to. I know it was damn pathetic.

Mind keeps wandering far far away, how I wish someone can talk to me, or even understand me, but sadly there wasn't any. 

Why there will be 'tears' in this world? People said no tear, and you wouldn't know joy. To have joy, you must first have tears. But, why I don't have joy although I tears a lot? 

Alright, I shall stop complaining. I know it doesn't help anyway.

Posting a negative post will get negative comments from other, at least I know in someone's mind, perhaps. Guess people will say," Huh?! WTF! Again? Don't she just have any better post than emo-ing and blah-ing away?!" 

Ok, I got thought of stop blogging or just move to other blogspot where no one will ever get there but why should I compromise to others. Why not you all choose to go to the (red X at the top right corner) or don't even log in to www.kahyee14.blogspot.com instead of complaining what I wrote. 

Listen up, yo! I got my own freedom to write what I want as long as what I wrote is not against others or violating any rules & regulations.. and etc etc...
At this moment, I just wish to be at home, hugging my mum and surrounded by my family :(

P/s : Ignorance is pathetic! Being ignore is painful!

Lazy bum bum

I am so unwilling to start packing my stuffs... tonnes of clothes that I brought it back since last 2 weeks and hoping for entertainment to ring my phone, but sadly, guess today is Sunday, which simply means family night as well.
Ugh, lazy as usual. Hmmm, well, just hope can stay forever in my house cause it is the sweetest and best ever place I could ask for :)
Balloting my cars later at 12am also make me can't go to sleep either and nothing to do. FML!
One word, SIEN!
Or perhaps I should use this time to start packing, 2 hours should be just fine, I think.
Btw, did you notice I'm crapping to my ownself?
Maybe keboringan yang melampau result to that. WTF!

Nah, current me, still the SAME =.=

But, fat-er, rounder, more chubbier

FML!

How silly I was!

"Reading lines by lines and expecting to see your name inside, and when every single one is mentioned without fails but not you, that's the end of the post"

Ok, my babe, Ashlee just help me to sentence out what is inside my mind recently without me even telling her how I felt, and yeah, she is alway, as usual, simply understand me and no one ever beat her when it comes to this matter. How I wish he could understand me even better, but if he does, i doubt of the existence of this post.

Yeah, I'm a quite sensitive person and when it comes to own feeling, I never held back and when every conversation of me and my bestie, I'm dropping my tears as whatever from her, is a truth that I've known it but yet I'm telling myself previously that I might be thinking too much. How silly I was! 

You will never understand how envy I was when I came across other's fb to see that their wall post, photo comment are filled with comments that are so lovey dovey or yet a simple concern msg. But, what have I got so far? Yeah, NONE! Don't be surprised, even a stranger might knock on my wall and leave me comments but what have I got from him ever since I got my fb account? I'm sounded like I'm hungered for comments, but I'm not! Don't judge me if you don't ever get your head into my situation!

She told me what will you get in the end? Hoping for a change? How if it impossible? If possible, how long it takes? And by that times, you lost all your youth...

Conclusion, I'm dumb, moron, idiot and I know that, I'll always be!

Ranting again

I'm blogging now!
Yea, but doesn't mean I'm free now!
Tomorrow's the last mid-term and I don't have the strength to study, I don't know why.
I can sense tomorrow paper will be a disaster for me. I know I won't get good results for it too but I won't give up.

A lots of things happen recently, which is quite bothering for some of my housemate and me.
Maybe I'm the cause of all this trouble that had brought up, and I really don't understand why certain people can't just understand on others, put themself on other's shoes and thinks on behalf others as well.
Haigh, I just know that I have to keep silent and accept every M-16 that have shot towards me.

I had the most toughest time in this Wed that requires me and my groupmate to redo the whole assignment. YES, is from A-Z. You must have thought that I have the fussiest tutor and indeed he is! I miss going home on Wednesday and resulting me working all the day until the next morning Thursday at 9am and eventually I straight drove back to home. Is an awful day! Nevertheless, going home could make me forget about the stress that is never-ending for awhile and it helps when there are family and your cute pup beside you. And I miss them now!

I just dislike Kampar cause I feel so stress at Kampar facing assignments! Total of 4 assignments to be submitted on next week Friday and the last midterm for tomorrow! FOL kao kao!

Joker for the day

Symptom : A guy that is so desperate of getting a girl

Impact : Cuckoo and bullshitting alot!

Conclusion : Can any girl out there just can bear with him? Tell me if you are the one!

P/s : Damn piss off by him to the max! Fullstop

Bye 09, Hello 10

I know I'm suppose to come out with the KK's vacation as it was suppose to be, but let me just blog this so randomly stuff and thought of mine.

I know 2009 ends already but yet I have a few says about it.
I gone through 2009 with failure, success, happy, sad, thrill, lonely, emo but stills I know it ended anyway. Indeed I have gone through a lots!
From friendship until relationship, everything is a total mess for me but yet I accepted whatever that is happened and I never blame or regret what had happened. All this things make me realize that I must be strong and think positively. Although I don't have many friends, but I believe I don't need that. All I need is those who are real with me, never betray me and really accepted me not because I need one but he/she mean it. I believe I really have such few friends/buddies and I shall not mention any names as only my real friends will know that they are definitely in the list. Thanks for being my friends as always and always be there to support me when I needed most.

Not forget to those who are my "friend", thanks for making me realize this world is so realistic and because of you all, I will grow stronger and stay undefeatable as I want to prove even without you, I'm still living and this world is still rotating. Thanks for betraying me for making me realize trust can be so fragile. Thanks for making me to accept that this world is full or sarcastic out there and because of "you", I have met the the real one!
I know I might not perfect still, but at least I've keep changing to be better as I always will! This is the promise I had made to myself.

Hatred and grudge will be buried in 2009 and high-spirited feeling will be along 2010. I will never live life with hatred, always be myself, but no one, treasure my friendship and relationship, be it my family, my dear, and my friends.

Though 2009 is not a really a remarkable/fantastic/awesome/great year for me, but I know there is still 2010 there. I will live my life to the fullest as it is already to the end of my study life. Definitely, I will enjoy it to the max!

New semester is about to begin and I really hope I can score good grade in this new semester as previous semester, I don't achieve something I'm aiming for. Totally disappointed but that is a past. I shall look forward and move on.

Speaking about 2010 resolution, I think I shall not restricted myself for achieving something but I will let myself to explore everything that come into my life and live to the fullest.

Bye 2009, and Hello 2010

Triple Suay!

Everything come so fast and when will it only stop?
Why today so suay?
The last suay, (hopefully is the last!), and the sketch below summarize it all.

In the forest, there are many kinds of species and the PIGs whose job is to do all kinds of job which is  to protect the forest and others' species.(Hell yeah, but those are just the surface. Deep inside is full of bribing) And so, there are in their operation today and managed to block the innocent species which I can said that bring no harm at all! Fine! They tried to ask for bribe and of cause the educated species won't give in their way and just let the PIGs to just fine whatever they want! BUT, the PIGs started to raise up the voice and ask for species' grandma and grandpa! WTF! Why on earth this could happenned?
Well, does justice exist? Or the PIGs are the the only one with power, that us can't do anything?

1 down and 2 to go!

I managed to ditch off the E-commerce successfully, thanks god...
I hope I can get a very good grade for this paper!

1 down and 2 to go!

Feeling so lazy to hook up on PM as is not easy for me anymore after really 2 years never studied in Bahasa.
Many that took this paper before told me is damn easy and no need to be scare, for sure, will pass as this paper didn't counted in CGPA and required us to pass only.
But, the problem is, is it really very easy to pass?
In nutshell, I just want to pass, God...

RR, another sad case la, why on earth BA got so many theory papers? Im not weak on theory papers but everytime before this type of papers, sure said will fail this kind of statement but eventually come out still fine! So, in a nutshell, hope can do in RR as well.

In nutshell, I want to get good grades!!!
I think I almost cuckoo already!!
I need to study, study and study till 16th...

P/s : Why I need to study leh? Why I can't be genius that no need to study? FML!

Do you ever mask-ed yourself when in front of others?
You mask-ed yourself is fine with me but don't ever reveal your mask when it is not necessary.
If not, I will feel disgusted with your 一举一动

Thinking back of what you had done and told me, I'm not angry of what you had done but I felt myself so stupid for once and once again believing you.

Hmmmm...

I told a friend of mine,

Must treasure your gf,
never breaks her heart.
Once is broken, it is forever!

Well, why it is just so easy to advise others but not easy to solve the problems that we have, having or had?

Life is unpredictable so do love. It can be so strong at a moment and yet so fragile at the other moment.

And the most important, what is LOVE?
Everyone needs love, deserve to love and deserve to be loved

In this rotating globe, do you think you have met the right one?

Tears

finally drop again!
Don't ask me anything, for sure I don't know the reason.

Ipx hppe jf xf ofwfs t***u

Happy ending

I guess everything is fine now!
Thanks for everyone concern...
Well, the previous post is not about him.
To all my friends, is not about Raymond I'm talking about...
Finally, she JUST called me!
Happy~

Remaining silent ...

We have been silent for almost 3 days... and I'm so not used to it...
I wish to hear from you but yet I'm afraid...
I wish you could ask about me but you didn't (so far this 3 days)
Everytime when there is a call from 012-5*****8, I thought it could be you, but yet I know it wasn't from you...
Perhaps, I should speak to you in the first place to avoid embarrassment or to let things cool down but yet I never take the step.
But, is either my fault too!
That's why I have been silent even when you insisted it was my fault!
I don't blame him for creating this mess but I never known you will have such big reactions towards this sesame things.
What should I do so that we could be like as usual as how we used to be?
On the other hand, I know he have been caring for me as usual and scare that I will get upset about this, thus he calling me quite often this few days to make sure I'm ok.
Yes, I'm still fine, that's the only things I could reply to you.

Ah, how good if everything is within our control...

P/s : Taste buds also getting upset :(